My name is Michael Robards, and I am 25 years old. As I write you, I’m in jail, in the custody of Johnson County, Kansas charged with involuntary manslaughter.
As a long time member of the soccer community, having played at the premier, high school and collegiate level, as well as coached, I’d like to share my life altering story of the harmful and deadly effects of drinking and driving. My hope is that by sharing my story I will initiate changes in attitudes and actions about drinking and driving and hopefully with your support we can save lives.
Tragic accidents can and do happen everyday to people from all walks of life in today’s society. The mentality, which I shared, that we are invincible and that tragedy can’t and “won’t happen to me”, contributes greatly to the number of such events. Hopefully by understanding the aftermath of such an accident, we can begin to change attitudes and take action to reduce the number of injuries and deaths resulting from drunken driving.
On December 27th, 2005 I made a series of poor decisions that ultimately led to the death of a motorcyclist in a traffic accident. While in town celebrating the holidays with family and friends, my life and the lives of others changed dramatically forever that night. In my moment of irresponsible behavior, I unintentionally took the life of someone’s father, grandfather and friend. In a split second, I stole from a family something I can never replace. The weight of my guilt and remorse is a burden I will bear forever! No matter what the outcome of my sentencing, I must live with the unsettling knowledge that I needlessly took someone else’s life.
I deserve no sympathy. I am not the victim in this story. I alone accept responsibility for my grievous act. Further, I acknowledge that I owe a debt to society. Hopefully, my incarceration coupled with this letter will serve as the beginning of my repayment process.
I’ve also embarrassed myself and dishonored my reputation, and that of my family. In large part, my life will be defined by this moment, that split second. I will forever be a convicted felon.
Try and imagine the whole of your life defined primarily by one instant, one bad decision. Grasp if you can, how you might feel if in that instant, your career options were so narrowed as to leave you few prospective job options. Among the consequences for my decisions; I’ve forfeited a promising career, two soccer coaching positions and months/years of my freedom. Not to mention, the $1,000′s of debt incurred for legal expenses, lost wages, and damaged property. My debt continues to pile up while I sit in jail, unable to work and uphold my obligations. Fortunately, my loving and supportive family has helped shoulder these burdens and continue to offer their unyielding support. Many people I’ve met are not so fortunate.
Shortly after my accident I was released on bond to receive alcohol assessment and pick up the pieces of my life while awaiting adjudication of my case. My assessment counselor informed me that I have a relatively minor dependency toward alcohol. He recommended, and I immediately began alcohol education and treatment. The night of my accident was my first
offense involving alcohol, the first of any nature actually. I highlight these points not in an attempt to rationalize my actions or to trivialize the seriousness of my offense. Rather to illustrate a simple, but crucial point. These tragedies can happen instantly to any of us, as I am a great example, if we make poor decisions.
Please, please understand that this is in no way a cry for sympathy or pity, because I acknowledge I deserve none! I ask that you join me in grieving for the family of the victim, who prematurely lost a loved one. They are the ones truly deserving of your thoughts and prayers. I pray everyday that God brings them consolation for their loss, comfort for their pain, and strength to ease their burden. The details of my situation are important only to illustrate all aspects of this tragedy and how so many lives are upset as a result.
In evaluating my life and this terrible situation I would like to offer the following advice. Never drink and drive, or ride with anyone who is; it’s only a matter of time before an arrest or accident takes place. It may seem the “in” thing to do, or save you a few dollars on cab fare. You may not want to make a phone call to your parents, but their receiving a phone call from you is decidedly better than receiving one from the police.
We all seem to be aware of the harmful and deadly effects of drinking and driving, and yet for whatever reason we ignore those warnings. We continue to put ourselves and others at risk on a daily basis. My call to you is to stand up for something that must change and make a difference in your families, on your teams, in your schools and communities. I will continue to tell my story in the hope that we can significantly reduce accidents and tragedies such as my own.
In addition, I would encourage you young players to refrain from alcohol use. Make decisions for yourself and your future and remain mindful that you are not obligated to do anything your peers want you to do. Stay focused on what you want from life and set goals to help you obtain it.
Use my experience as a means to ensure this never happens to you and your friends; I promise it’s not worth it!
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The above letter was brought to my attention by Nick Schmitt, West Plains HS. It was shared with a few Coaches by Michael’s High School Coach, Chris Lawson, who received it from Michael’s father. Here are his comments from the email:
This letter is being shared with the entire soccer community (nationally) in an effort to share a message we hear about often but maybe it will help someone make the right decision the day they read it. If so then it was worth it. We hope those we work with will use the advice often but it is exactly that, advice.
Mike was our all state sweeper on our 1998 state championship team before moving on to continue his education and play at Marquette University. He comes from a very religious, loving and educated family. It can happen to anyone. Feel free to share this message with anyone in the soccer community you are connected with and anyone who might benefit from sharing it with their players. I assured Mike and his family I will assist them anyway possbile in an effort to help other make a better decision.
Thanks
Not your traditional Valentine’s Day story, rather a cautionary tale. I am the son of an alcoholic who was the son of an alcoholic. I am aware every day of the danger of alcohol, to myself and to the people around me. My father has been alcohol free for over a year now, having finally faced his demons. It’s one of the greatest feelings I’ve experienced and something I am very proud of him for.
I didn’t worry about him when he was drinking. I won’t share with you how I felt in that regard. It wasn’t pretty. I did worry every day about what his behaviour might do to another family however and that has been a huge weight off of my shoulders.
Take responsibility for yourself. Be aware of others. Do the right thing. Like Mike.
Hi
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My mum was an alcoholic and i really resented her for her behaviours that came with her drinking. I would swear to myself that i’d never become that!!
I’ve always drank, but not too much. The somehow, 4 years ago, i became addicted, and now i too am an alcoholic. The only difference between my mother and i is, i’m looking for a way out!
I just survived one more anniversary of my fathers death that comes every christmas and his burial which comes on his birthday on January 2. My father was killed by michael the man who wrote this letter, that to me has no face, but has a father. I can truly say this tragedy destroyed my life also. Ive never spoken, seen, or had any contact with Michael and would like him to know that the irony is my father was an alcoholic and a drug user all of my life. I had cut my father out of my life when I became pregnant with my daughter because of all the pain and abuse I had endured from him in my life. Thinking one day if he gets clean I will let him in our lives but not until then. My father called me a week before his death and told me he would like to see me and meet his grandaughter now 11, and give her a xmas present. My father said he was clean and had been clean for a few years. Every year on every holiday inbetween he would come to my work and drop by a card or a gift teary eyed hoping for a chance and I just couldnt forgive him. I thought it was better if I kept him out ,it was also embarrasing and very painful. I was very leary but contemplated it and decided to call him this time and let him into our lives at least give him a chance, maybe he was clean?.I thought after xmas Ill call him because of plans with family and because I was so busy at work. I never got that chance. I got a phone call when I got to work at 8 am that my father had been killed by a drunk driver and was hit so hard it was instant. I had friends that were driving home that morning and saw the accident to find out that it was my father laying in the street with his new hobby, his motorcycle ,stuck in the engine of Mikes car. My god, he was sitting at a stoplight in front of his mothers church coming home from a poker game at AA. I was shocked and I went through depression, drinking, lost my job ,my friends,became completely numb and was not even emotionally there for my daughter for at least a year. I had to goto my fathers house with my brother after the accident to find his brittney spaniel Rusty, waiting by the door for my dad, steaks thawing, his clothes in the washer and dryer as my heart fell out of my body. The pain never goes away but its easier now. I made it through.
Im very sorry this happened to Mike and to my father. The irony of my father getting killed this way is eerie. Whos going to kill someone after drinking to much? Someone may as well play russian roulette, nobody knows.
I forgive Mike. I have drank and drove before, it could have been my dad, it also can be you next time you choose to drink and drive. I promise, lifes already to short and this can all be avoided by making an easy decision not to drive while you are drinking.
Adra Pyle